Why Not Benoit?

Here's a thought for ya...

Pick a young wrestler you know right now on the local scene. One that's talented and determined to improve their craft... always working toward the day they work around the world as a WWE superstar. A youngster whose respect is evident... for the business, the fans, his fellow workers, the old timers.

Pick a guy like that, one you KNOW is all the things I just described.

Maybe you even know this young wrestler outside the ring, the man behind the character and you find he's just as deserving of respect for all those same things and more in his real life.

You like this wrestler's work and you genuinely LIKE the real man who is the wrestler.

You got a guy that fits all the above? A talented young wrestler who has all the tools to make it in the business? A likable, decent human being you have real affection for?

If you've been around at all as either a supporter or worker on the indy scene you must have met at least one individual who fits the above criteria.

For the sake of avoiding having to use the generic "young wrestler" for the duration of this exercise I'm going to pick a name from the local Ontario indy wrestling scene since that's where I hang out. (But you can pick whoever YOU know that fits the bill.)

So, for this little project in thought I'm going to select Sebastian Suave as the young wrestler. (There are other young wrestlers in Ontario that fit the above criteria but Suave's the one I picked.)

Sebastian Suave is talented and respectful. "Sebastian" is his legit name and Seb, as many call him, is a decent, honest and likable young man.

So... Imagine for a moment....

Sebastian gets an opportunity to tour Japan and enjoys great success in the rings there.

When he returns to North America he's snapped up by ROH and his success there is as great as that of his Japanese run (and all the sweeter because it's happening here!)

Next thing you know Sebastian is on TV for TNA winning titles and working PPVs

Then the Holy Grail... the WWE.

Sebastian debuts for THE Fed. He's on Monday Night RAW every week... Main Eventing WRESTLEMANIA!!!

Imagine how great that would make YOU feel. The young guy you knew and liked going on to become one of the most famous and respected wrestling superstars in the world!

I'll tell ya how it feels... it feels GREAT!

Sebastian in the WWE! Winning the world championship at Wrestle-fucking-mania! Owning RAW! Wrestling in front of millions of people!

Every single time you saw him on TV, on video, in magazines, live from the 87th row... You would remember the talented, decent and likable young man he was when you knew him 'back then'... and you would think...

It couldn't happen to a nicer kid.

And while fans around the world embraced Sebastian as their own YOU would always hold close to your heart, your feelings of fondness for the remarkable young man you knew before his ascent to superstar status began.

It is VERY cool when someone you know, or have watched develop and shared their early struggles (if only by watching them on numerous shows in small indy venues) makes it to the big time. Imagine if Sebastian did.

It's a pretty awesome fantasy isn't it?

Now imagine one day, with no prior warning at all... you wake up to discover Sebastian and his family are dead.

As more details emerge it becomes clear that Sebastian murdered his wife and son before ending his own life.

Imagine how that would make you feel.

THINK about it. Pretty fucked up, eh?

A murderer? Suicide? Sebastian Suave?

When the wrestling world erases Sebastian from history how are YOU gonna feel? YOU knew him as a talented, decent and likable young man. Are YOU going to erase THAT memory because of his ultimate end?

Now OF COURSE I'm not saying Sebastian Suave will go on to murder his family and then kill himself. I simply don't believe he would do such a thing.

Of course, I didn't believe Chris Benoit would do such a thing either. I can honestly say, the thought NEVER crossed my mind.

But he did, didn't he?

How the FUCK am I supposed to reconcile that fact with the talented, decent and likable young wrestler I used to know?

I don't think I ever will.

I often ask Why Benoit? and the answer, if you think about it, is Why not Benoit?

It was him but... it could have been anyone.

Same holds true for next time.

RAW is Pro Wrestling BS

So with nothing to do tonight I was flipping channels and came across the replay of RAW. I haven't watched any WWE stuff in awhile so...

John Morrison vs Sheamus was in progress when I started watching. Sheamus is the whitest guy on the planet who isn't an albino. This guy makes Xandra Pale look African American.

Hmm, Cole-ostomy & King said something about Sheamus being the King of the Ring. Do they still do that? He pounded on Morrison long enough to think Mr Shitty Tights will pull off some super recovery and win.

Yep. Morrison with a knee to the head.

Some crap about the New Nexus that happened earlier. I didn't know the old Nexus. Black t-shirts. I know that much. Looks like internet smark darling CM Punk is the boss & he's getting the other guys to endure physical punishment to prove their loyalty to the group, or to him, or something. Meh.

I seem to recall a thing with Miz & some guy. I guess the main event is a tag between them and Randy Orton & Jerry Lawler. Don't remember when that played.

Lawler did a thing in the ring droning on about Hall of Fame inductees then a video played showing the first 2011 HOF inductee Shawn Michaels. Decent little vid. Then Shawn showed up and took forever getting in the ring where he held a mic but didn't say anything. Too busy dancing, posing etc.

Michaels was interrupted by a guy I'm guessing was his limo driver. He said something about needing more money for the parking meter and Shawn kicked his face off with some Sweet Chin Music. Then he left. Slowly.

Cole-ostomy got in the ring and said something about Cena but he was interrupted by CM Punk who was standing on top of the Titantron. There was a lot of bullshit about his initiation and we're all supposed to think he's gonna jump off the thing. Then he laughs and says he's wearing a harness and everyone who thought he was gonna jump is an idiot. Wow. Ya had us there Punk.

The 3 Nexus guys came to the ring and they showed the video clips of their initiations AGAIN and then Punk came to the ring and told us about the harness and not jumping AGAIN and then...

And I NEVER thought I'd ever say this....

Thank God John Cena showed up.

Well, on the Titantron at least. Cena called Punk "CM Sucks" and that was my first laugh of the show. (The groan count was off the chart already)Then Cena starts goin on about "As sure as I wear purple and the Sun rises in the morning" while telling Punk he's gonna kick his ass. (As I write this some wad on Right After Wrestling is going on about how stupid this Cena promo was. I personally thought it was the most enjoyable and entertaining part of the show.)

Oh, I almost forgot... there were 2 Nexus guys who didn't do their initiation test. Punk wanted them to beat each other with Kendo sticks. When they didn't do it he told them to hit him then. They dropped the sticks on the floor and walked out. Yawn. That probably didn't happen after the Cena/Punk thing. I don't know when it did. I know that it DID happen because it's way to stupid for me to have made it up.

None of that Nexus shit makes any sense anyway. What difference does it make what order I put it in?

The Main Event was indeed the tag match. I didn't watch it. Fucking Randy Orton and all his snake-like mat crawls, hiked shoulder threatening poses and glaring through his brows. Jesus. Just MOVE for fucks sake!

AND... That's why I don't watch much WWE these days.

Indy Pro Wrestlers as Crash Test Dummies

That's right. A LOT of indy wrestlers are basically crash test dummies. You know, the mannequins that substitute for real people when engineers deliberately smash cars into walls, light poles and other cars? Yea those.

I think a lot of indy wrestlers are just like those crash test dummies except...

• indy wrestlers are real people
• Indy wrestlers don't need engineers. They crash themselves

One more important difference between crash test dummies and indy wrestlers is that people generally learn something when test dummies crash. Some indy wrestlers don't seem to learn a thing no matter how many times they crash... if they even realize they are in effect crashing their career before it even gets to the approach ramp of the World Wrestling Entertainment Expressway.

If "the dream" is to make it to the WWE (or TNA or ROH) doesn't that 'dream' actually entail WRESTLING there as a superstar? I mean, it must, right? Five years... ten... more? Performing on the big stage all the incredible things you're showing indy fans right now. Probably a LOT more, right? In your dream I mean.

Well... WAKE UP!

You ain't gonna gonna get anywhere near that dream, or be in a position to take advantage of an opportunity to do so down the road if you plow yourself into the ditch in front of 30 fans at an indy show in Upper Buttsniff.
And again at the next show
And the next
And the next
And... well, you get the picture.

Or do you?

Look at it this way... You only have one body with a given set of growth parameters determined by your genes. No matter how you develop that body (or tweak it with additives) it still has a finite number of bumps you can inflict upon it before it shuts down and leaves you not just in a world of hurt but practically (or permanently) IMMOBILE in a world of hurt.

And by the way, if you've been in the business for five years or less and you think you know what a world of hurt is, you don't. Not a clue.

But, if you're one of the indy pro wrestlers I'm referring to as a crash test dummy then you WILL find out soon enough (Assuming you don't kill yourself first.)

Think about what you're doing!

I mean, REALLY think about it.

In front of 30 - 130 people are ALL those bumps necessary, ALL those high risk moves essential? Seriously. ARE they?

(Hint: The answer is NO!)

~~~**~~~

Final thought for today:-

Thinking MOVES make a match is pure Pro Wrestling BS... and I don't mean Brain Salad

I'm Gordon Gustav

And you're not.

MARK and Proud Of It

... I'm still waiting for that t-shirt.

2010 is drawing to a close and looking ahead into the new year I see many things about pro wrestling I plan to discuss in this blog. From Ontario indy wrestling to the WWE to TNA to women's wrestling to... a whole bunch of stuff that you may or may not agree with.

If respectful Ontario indy pro wrestling is what you're after I suggest Ontario Wrestling's Indy Elite because it's likely that Pro Wrestling Brain Salad will be a lot more opinionated (and probably sarcastic.)

By the way, nobody died in the ring during 2010 in Ontario, but not for lack of trying. For Christ's sake, be careful out there!